지난 1월 인터넷신문 위키트리에 '몸이 들썩거리는 21세기 베스트 힙합송 16'이 뉴스로 오른 적이 있습니다. 이 차트에서 1위와 마지막 16위를 에미넴이 차지했더군요.
다른 곡들은 모르겠고.., 이 가운데 제가 아는 유일한 곡이 바로 16위 Stan 이었습니다. 하지만 제 생각으론 Stan을 안다면 다른 곡들을 몰라도 그다지 아쉽지 않을 것 같습니다.
아시겠지만, Stan은 미국의 힙합 가수 에미넴이 2000년 12월에 발표한 노래로 Dido의 'Thank You'를 샘플링 했습니다. 충격적인 가사 때문에 발표 당시 실화 논란이 있었지만, 에니넴 본인은 '한 남성이 임신한 부인과 동반 자살한 사건을 우연히 알게 돼 거기에서 영감을 얻어 가사를 썼을 뿐 실화는 아니라'고 실화설을 부인했다는군요.
이 노래를 처음 들었을 때의 감흥이 아직도 생생합니다. 아마 다른 곡들 때문에 고른 테이프에 끼어 있던 곡이었을텐데 빗소리에 이은 코러스 그리고 에미넴의 호소력 짙은 랩을 듣는 순간 이미 다른 곡들을 다시 듣고 싶은 마음이 사라져 버렸습니다.
어제처럼 오늘도 아침부터 비가 내리고 있습니다. 이런 날 Stan은 아주 특별한 맛입니다. 노래속 그 여자와 그 남자의 복잡한 사연은 잠시 내려놓고 그저 노래가 주는 묵직한 분위기에만 취해 보세요. 참고로 뮤비 속 남자 주인공은 Devon Sawa 라는 배우입니다.
노래 속의 노래 Dido의 'Thank you'도 함께 올립니다.
Eminem - Stan
[Chorus: Dido]
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
put your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..
[Eminem]
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or something
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan
[Chorus: Dido]
[Eminem]
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fucking idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cos you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too
[Chorus: Dido]
[Eminem]
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; {*screaming*}
Shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?
[Chorus: Dido]
[Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clowning dog,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counselling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!
